Thoughts That Keep Me Kind when my 2-year-old is Being and A$$#%le

We have a two-year-old. He’s our world. When he’s sweet, he’s the sweetest person of all, but he isn’t always sweet. I would never say it to his face, but sometimes he can be an ass. He throws stuff, he kicks, he slaps, he can be generally unpleasant. He’s two. I don’t think he’s out of the norm in any way, but it still doesn’t make me happy with the behavior. He’s never been hit or kicked, nor has he had anything thrown at him, so this solution to frustration exists inside him, and I want to address it. He’s not super verbal, but I want to address it.

He tries to pick at my mental health, albeit not intentionally (because he’s two and has no grasp of the concepts of mental health). I read something when he was new and frustrated by wet diapers, and being tired or hungry or whatever that moment’s frustration was. It pointed out how much more frustrating life must be for the baby than it was for me. He lived in a warm-water cocoon, and didn’t have to where clothes, or have a wet diaper stuck to him, he had a quieter world too. Now he’s in a world full of faces he doesn’t recognize, wearing clothes, having wet diapers, and everything is suddenly louder and more .. just more of everything else, and as I finished reading it, I instantly stopped feeling sorry for myself and started feeling sorry for this tiny person.

I’ve kept that concept close to my heart as we start with our newest baby AND as we continue learning with our now two-year-old. He can get a lot of ideas across, but he still can’t say that much. He can’t verbalize why he’s frustrated or sad, or angry. He can’t tell me he stubbed his toe if I didn’t see it happen. He’s a little dude, trapped in his own mind, who needs to wait to learn to say words that he desperately needs to communicate. I am nice to him because I love him, but I’m also nice because he can’t help his frustration. He’ll know coping skills once we teach him coping skills, but none of that will likely predate the communication skills we’re all waiting on.

We have a sweet boy who gets really frustrated. We’ll continue to say “no throwing, no kicking, no hitting”, but for now, we just need to SHOW him that we don’t REACT simply because we’re frustrated. And our hope is that will mean we one day have a perfectly lovely adult.