35 Things We Tell Our Kids that are Positive

So, anyone who follows this blog knows that not yelling has become our primary objective as parents. I felt like I was breaking our toddlers will and joy every time my volume went up, and I didn’t like it when he screamed in response. I’ve always said nice things to both of our boys, but I wanted us to take it to the “next level”, so I came up with a pretty definitive list of nice things to tell them, so they knew they were being both loved and heard.

What I will add is that not everything my children do will be okay. They won’t grow as people or change behavior if every word out of my mouth is about how awesome they are. I say nice things regularly and make a point to do it whenever effort is put forward, but there are times when it doesn’t fit the situation. Our three-year-old has been working harder at behaving and I firmly believe its because we’re both building him up AND he knows that sometimes he needs to put in a little work to get praise. He’s three, so our expectations are commensurate with his age, and he ends up with lots of praise, but its not for everything he does.

Here is the list

1. I appreciate you
2. Thank you for calming down
3. You’re a good boy
4. Im proud of you
5. I love you
6. You’re so smart
7. I’m listening
8. You make me so happy
9. I’m so lucky to be your Mom
10. That (painting, drawing, dance) is super awesome!
11. Thank you for letting me know what you want
12. You’re so brave
13. I don’t like that behavior, but I’m not mad at you
14. You are allowed to say no
15. You are allowed to say yes
16. Good Job!
17. You’re such a good helper
18. You are so funny
19. You have such good social skills
20. I’m grateful for you
21. When you’re happy, Mommy is happy
22. You are so loved
23. I like you!
24. You have such good ideas
25. I believe in you
26. Thats a great idea
27. Lets try your way
28. you’re such a good listener
29. You are a beautiful person.
30. Tell me about your day
31. what are your favorite things?
32. Did you have fun at school?
33. Did you do X activity at school today?
34. You did a great job putting your own backpack on
35. You did a great job getting off the bus, and the driver said you were very good! – I use this as an example, but anytime someone says something positive about his behavior, I let him know. Whenever someone says something negative, which is pretty rare (he’s good for strangers… of course), I don’t tell him, but I try and work on the behavior with him.