Why I Talk About Self-Improvement, Without Being Self-Deprecating

I want my kids to aim for the sky in life, but I don’t want them to aim for perfection. Perfection isn’t real, its an illusion. Maybe it drives some people, but I feel like it will always amount to disappointment. Instead, I want to be encouraging and promote improving. Whether its one task a day or a year, any progress is fine, but progress is necessary. That’s all I need them to strive for.

I’ve been self-deprecating since I left my mothers womb. It’s been who I am for my entire life…. Until I had this realization that it was a behavior that could be taught to my kids. I couldn’t imagine their self talk being as horrific as my own. I was horrified at the prospect. SOOO I decided to get a little Stuart Smalley with myself and say nice thing. I start myself by writing down what I’m grateful for and then I force myself to add something about myself to that list. “I’m grateful that I try as hard as I do” I’m grateful for this will to apply for jobs”. Stuff like that. It doesn’t believe I am to the point where I think really great things about myself, but it is a step in the right direction. Sometimes it motivates me to do a little extra, because I know I can be grateful for it the next day. I’m not saying the things I’m grateful for to my kids, other than being grateful for them and Alex, but they can see I’ve stopped saying, “oh my gosh, I’m so f@#king dumb, why did I say that?”… I keep those thoughts to myself and they’re none to wiser.

I’m not a perfect mother, but I’m a normal work-in-progress, and they will always know that.